Made my day

I was having a very tough day today. It was exactly one month ago today that my Phoebe died, and I was having a hard time dealing with that. Then I went over to Becky's blog and my nephew Jared and niece Kaitlin's pictures of my Phoebe truly made my day. I cried (and immediately showed them to a co-worker 'cuz I was at work at the time.) I am so touched that you guys would do this for me. I love the pictures so much (and believe they are worth reposting over here too)

Thank you so much for this beautiful pictures of my Phoebe and for making my day! I really needed it. :o) :o) :o)

Love,
Laura

one month later

I miss you Phoebe.

couple shots

Here is my Phoebe's paw print in clay that the hospital made for me.

and here is a shot of Sabrina. She REALLY wants me to play ball with me (she still does and is quite upset that I'm on the computer right now!)

A part of Phoebe

Debbie and Henry made this for Phoebe. Isn't it wonderful?

This afternoon I sprinkled some of Phoebe's ashes at Henry's She is near St. Francis of Assisi.

I brought her a sunflower.

To see a bigger view of this (and the picture below)

please click on the pictures. I left it nice and big:

Here is a shot of the whole pet cemetery. I makes me feel good knowing that Phoebe is near Eb, Mitzi and Grace. Thank you so much to Debbie and Henry for letting me bring Phoebe to their home, her favorite place in the world.

I still have most of Phoebe's ashes with me. I will sprinkle some at the cabin the next time Sabrina and I go up there and the rest of Phoebe's ashes will stay with me forever. My Dad is going to make me a box.

I'm in the mood for pictures

Phoebe in her usual spot: on my heating pad

Sabrina chiming in over this nearly all Phoebe picture post:
After a haircut last spring. So pretty!
Best ears ever!
This was one of the first pictures I took with my digital camera. She already looks annoyed:
This is from Otto's race in 2006. Phoebe was so happy (and in desperate need of a haircut!)
Phoebe sleeping with her buddy Maggie during a bridal shower last fall
Okay. Now I'm off to bed. I just needed a Phoebe fix. Thanks for joining me. :o)

Fond memories of my Phoebe girl

*Phoebe’s dance of joy when her Grandma was about to give her a treat

*Phoebe’s joyful cries when she learned she was either going to “Henry’s house” or “the cabin”

*Phoebe napping on my chest and tummy when we would be relaxing on the couch.

*Phoebe napping next to her Grandma in her favorite chair.

*Dancing with Phoebe. She loved to dance. I would just have to say “Wanna dance?” and she would lift her paw.

*Phoebe staring at me when I’d be sitting watching TV while we were up at the cabin and she’s give me this look like “Why are we inside?!? I want to go out and SNIFF!”

*Sitting on the dock at the cabin and seeing Phoebe standing on the neighbor’s dock, two docks away and thinking “I own this place!”

*The pure joy Phoebe had when the kids would come to visit. (Let’s face it, she preferred kids over me!)

*How she would never give up hope that her Grandpa would share some of his supper with her, or how whenever he would be eating at the kitchen table that meant it was time for her to eat out of her food dish. “Grandpa’s eating, it’s my time to eat too!”

*How she was always so protective of her baby sister Sabrina.

walk walk walk

Lately I’ve been feeling so overly tired and blah when I get home from work that I haven’t even had the energy to take Sabrina for a walk (that is what happened the last couple of nights, which was not good ‘cuz the weather was so gorgeous.)

Last night I felt so guilty about it that I decided I would just do what I had done for the last couple of summers, wake up a bit EARLIER in the morning and take the walk then. The weather is cooler and better for walking anyway!

I have A LOT of fond memories of Phoebe trying to get me to wake up like at 6 a.m. to go for our morning walk, she LOVED her walks so much. I would whine “Let me sleep a little longer!” but she would continue to jump up and down off the bed to wake me up. :o)

Anyway, Sabrina and I had a good 45 minute walk this morning and now I won’t feel guilty tonight when I get home when I just want to plop in front of the TV.

Wow!

Dad was home last night and was eating a piece of leftover pizza (my favorite frozen pizza from Target) and you know what he did?!?!
He gave Sabrina TWO pieces of the chicken off the pizza!
He NEVER shared his food with the girls before!
I was shocked! :o)

Sabrina is doing fairly well. She's still adjusting to being home alone so when I do get home from work I get a MAJOR MAJOR greeting. She was always happy to see me before, but now the stories she is telling me when I walk in the door are even more frantic and LOUD.

Poor girl! :o(

My girl Sabrina

I just took this pictures of Sabrina a little bit ago:

This one is my favorite. What a silly lookin' girl:
My happy girl. My Sabrina

Baby steps, right?

Sabrina did her cries of joy when she realized we were gonna go sit outside in the back yard. First time since Phoebe died that she did that.

It was a glorious noise!

She sniffed a little bit while we were outside too.

Not a lot, but it's a start, right?

Baby steps.

I miss

*I miss Phoebe obsessively cleaning her feet after a walk or being outside for a long period of time.

*I miss watching Phoebe start a playful fight with Sabrina

*I miss how Phoebe would lift her paw as if to shake my hand when she wanted my attention

*I miss the weight of her on my chest and stomach when we are lying on the couch to watch tv or take a nap.

*I miss Phoebe's kisses.

*I miss the morning routine of giving Phoebe her thyroid pill.

*I miss Phoebe's dance of joy when I would say "Let's go for a walk!" or "Let's go to Henry's house" or "Let's go to the cabin"

*I even miss changing Phoebe's diapers.

*I miss the joy Sabrina once had when I would say "Let's go outside!" (to the back yard) There is no joyful cries anymore. No more snooping. No more sniffing.

More pics

Here are a couple more shots of Sabrina from yesterday after her new haircut:

And this one was taken this morning just after we got back from our walk.
My girl is GORGEOUS!

Sabrina is GORGEOUS!

I just picked up Sabrina from Petco about half an hour ago. Doesn't she look beautiful? :o)

sabrina video!

home alone

Sabrina is at Petco getting groomed.
First time without Phoebe.

The groomers at Petco gave me a sympathy card. Very sweet. Made me cry.
(I had sent them one of the picture cards I mailed out with a note saying 'Thank you for making Phoebe beautiful since 1998")

I'll be sure to take pictures of my gorgeous Sabrina when she gets back from the groomers.
For now I'm just gonna sit here and wait......

I know she's doing better than I am right now, I just know it.....

memory lane....

Germaine e-mailed me these two pictures that were taken when we shared an apartment together. This first one is Phoebe, Sabrina and Germaine's cat Cole:

And here is Cole and Sabrina. They were good buddies!

I have fond memories of Cole bathing Sabrina. :o)
Thanks for the pictures Germaine!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE!

We hope you have an awesome day!

Love,
Laura & Sabrina!

Firsts

There are a lot of "firsts" that Sabrina and I have to deal with.
"First walk without Phoebe"
"First trip to the cabin without Phoebe"
"First visit to Henry's house without Phoebe"
"First haircut without Phoebe"
"First trip to the drive-thru without Phoebe"
"First day Sabrina has to be home alone without Phoebe"

Each one of these "firsts" have made me sick to my tummy.

Tomorrow is the "first haircut without Phoebe"

I'm worried how Sabrina will react. She's never gone by herself and I'm afraid that my depressed "energy" (as Cesar would say) will make things even worse for her.

*sigh*

I miss my Phoebe.

Haunted

Mom said that yesterday when she was in the laundry room she saw a flash of white out of the counter of her eye.

She said it was Phoebe stopping by for a visit. :)

I like to think that Phoebe is haunting the house. I told her before she died that I wanted her to haunt me.

I had a very vivid dream last night that Phoebe came down the basement stairs and walked towards me and I pet her. It felt so real. It was nice.

Wednesday

We are going to Henry's house on Wednesday night.

I'm going to sprinkle some of Phoebe's ashes near Eb, Mitzi and Grace the guinea pig's graves. It's also near their St. Francis of Assisi statue. I want Phoebe to be there too.

She loved going to Henry's house more than anywhere else in the world. (Even more than the cabin, which says a lot 'cuz she loved the cabin too!)

Henry's house is the tops though. :o)

a good sign?

Sabrina rolled in some stinky when were were outside in the back yard.
I personally believe that is a good sign.....

It's better than just standing there going "huh?"

Now I just need her to start sniffing around again. :o)

Phoebe is home

I got Phoebe's ashes from the Animal ER yesterday. They had left a voicemail message while I was at the cabin that they were available so Sabrina and I went there immediately to pick them up. I also got a clay paw print of Phoebe's paw.

I've received sympathy cards from several family and friends. Thank you all so much! I also received a card from Century Animal Clinic where Phoebe was a patient since 1998. Three of the doctors that took care of Phoebe all wrote very nice messages to me.

I'm still having a very hard time with anxiety (which is normal for me) but it's even worse now. Chest pressure and difficulty breathing.....but I am able to talk about my sweet Phoebe without bursting into tears, so I think I'm doing better than I thought I would.

I miss her so much though, it hurts.

I'm so grateful I have my Sabrina. I'm going to work really hard on trying to feel better because I think my anxiety and depressed energy (as Cesar Millan would say) is not good for her.

:::EDIT:::

Forgot to post my plans for my Phoebe girl.

Some of her ashes will be spread at the cabin. Some will also be spread at Henry's house. Those were here two favorite places and I want her to be there for eternity. The rest will stay with me forever. I've asked Dad to make me a small white stained glass box for me to put the ashes in.

backyard blues

Sabrina doesn't seem to know what to do with herself when we go sit in the backyard.
Both Phoebe & Sabrina loved to go in the backyard and sniff around in Lynn's gardens. They didn't even seem to care that they had to be leashed in order to explore. Sabrina would usually cry and whine quite loudly she was so excited when I said "Let's go outside" and head towards the back door.

Not anymore.

When I've taken her out there today she just kinda stands there.....lost.....not sure what she is supposed to do.

She no longer sniffs around in Lynn's gardens.

She just stands on the grass and stares at me with a look like "What am I supposed to do out here?"

My heart aches for her.
She misses her sniffing buddy.

I do too.

Cabin pictures

Here are some pictures I took of Sabrina while we were at the cabin this week.

Maggie took this shot of me and Sabrina watching TV

This was taken when Sabrina's Grandma came home after being gone for a few hours. She was soooooooooooo excited that her Grandma was back!
This was taken yesterday. We ended up not staying down by the lake very long because the flies were terrible and biting at me and Maggie too much.

Vacation

Tomorrow morning Sabrina and I will be picking up Wyatt and the three of us are heading up to the cabin for the week.

Maggie is up there right now with her family and I guess (I hope!) the plan is for her to stay up even though the rest of 'em will be going home at the end of the weekend.

It's going to be difficult for me going up there for the first time without my Phoebe girl. The cabin was her second favorite place to be in the whole wide world (#1 was always Henry's house!)

I hope everyone has a great week. I'll be home July 12th. I'm bringing my digital camera so I should get some good shots while I'm there.

Wyatt & Phoebe!

These were taken at Henry's house in 2003. Here is Phoebe getting a belly rub from her buddy Wyatt
And this is one of my all time favorite pictures in the whole wide world. Phoebe loved her Wyatt! Look at how happy she is to be with him!!!!!!!!

Found some Phoebe pics

Found this old shot of Phoebe and Germaine's cat Brenna (who by the way Phoebe RESCUED when Germaine had been taking the girls for a walk one day!) I had the picture saved on an older photo site ('cuz if I wanted to share this now, I don't have a scanner) I'm so glad I found it.

Here is another picture I found. It was taken when I was visiting with my some of the greatest people in the whole world. Gail, Jay, Eileen, Julia & Rena. I don't remember which one of them took this picture. It was back in 2001 when Julia came all the way from Australia, Eileen from Toronto and Rena from Oklahoma. We all met at Gail & Jay's in North Dakota.

It was such an awesome weekend. One I will never forget.

I don't know what I would do without their friendships!

Donations

Sabrina and I went to the Humane Society tonight to donate Phoebe's leftover medications. I had called the vet asking what I should do with them and that was their suggestion. I included two unopened cans of a special dog food that I had gotten from the hospital that was for dogs with digestive issues and I also put in a poodle toy that I had bought on clearance. I gave them the purple one. It still had the tag on it and everything because the girls already have that toy, I just picked up another one 'cuz it was so cheap. Anyway, I put all the stuff in a bag with a doggie on it, along with a picture of Phoebe and Sabrina and I went together to drop the stuff off. The gal there was very nice and thanked me for the donation and gave Sabrina a lot of attention.

Speaking of Sabrina, and attention, she would like some now. I don't blame her, she was all alone today.

Before I go, I'm going to post this picture I took last summer of Maggie and Phoebe. It's an awesome shot:

awesome support

My co-workers were all amazingly supportive on my first day back from work. I received lots of hugs. I was grateful for everyones concern and support.They all signed a card and gave it to me yesterday:
I also received a card from the hospital. It was written and signed by the vet that helped Phoebe the most (and was there when Phoebe died) I tried to take a picture of what she wrote (since I don't have a scanner) but it didn't come out so I will just type what she wrote:
We are so sorry for your loss of Phoebe. You loved her so much, and made a wonderful and loving choice for her to spare her from any more discomfort or pain. She'll live with you in your heart forever. Thinking of you, Kathy Rausch, DVM & the AEC staff.

Debbie and Henry stopped by to see me and Sabrina on Tuesday night. It was so great to see them. They gave me a card too:
We will all miss Phoebe very much. From: Debbie, Rock, Henry, Otto, Marcia, Oliver, Cha Cha and Fluffy

Thank you to everyone for all their support. Thank you to Ann and Grace for coming over IMMEDIATELY on Monday as soon as I told them. That meant so much to me.

I think I'm going to try and get back to sleep now.